“I am Crow.” This came to me this morning during my hour-long drumming journey. I saw myself transform into the crow, then become human, then become various animals as I toured different landscapes on turtle island.
My intention for my journey was to stand in my power as I move into my “Crow” season. This term has continuously come to me in my daily drumming journeys since recognizing my body was transitioning into what I also call womenopause, Women of Pause (instead of Men-o-pause).
When I came out of my drumming journey, I organically turned to the page about Crow from Medicine Cards(Sams, J, Carson, D., 1999). This is a wisdom-filled book about Animal Medicine that my spirit daughter Meg introduced to me. I was captivated by what I read…
“The first paragraph described a medicine story where the Crow was fascinated by her own shadow. She looked at it, pecked at it, scratched it, until her shadow awoke. Upon awakening and becoming alive, the Crow’s shadow ate her. Crow is Dead Crow now” (p. 133). This is where the term “eat Crow” comes from…The Crow is the “keeper of sacred law” (p. 133).
This reminds me of another drumming journey I experienced with Medicine woman Patricia James. It was during my first week at the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) to become a Psychedelic Assisted Therapist (PAT). What an honor to have Patricia be the first healer of the day to share her Native wisdom and gift of drumming! My intention for my drumming journey was to allow my personal integrity to guide me.I was mind blown at what I experienced during those 20 minutes to an alpha drum beat:
I witnessed a masked person then I was the wearer of the mask. I was the cobra with the potential to harm then I was kundalini rising, with the ability to help heal. I was the polarity of opposites. I was the drummer, I was the drum. I was the embodiment of both sides, the light side and the shadow side. I had a choice always, in all ways.
This journey reminds me so much of the teachings of Crow Medicine, one of which is to allow my personal integrity to be my guide. By dropping into our bodies and becoming really quiet, we allow our personal integrity to speak to us, to guide us in the directions we are naturally supposed to go. This is very different from allowing our minds, or the many parts of ourselves to run with a million different stories based on the memories in which they feel stuck or trapped in.
As this day unfolds, are you willing to allow Crow Medicine to guide you? If yes, spend time with this question: Are you living in personal integrity or are you swallowing your own shadow and eating crow? What needs to change if you are doing the latter? How can you honor your personal integrity more?
It is only when we get quiet that we realize the answers have been inside of us all along. It is time we listen to the messages of the wind.
Mitakuye Oyasin,
Candice
Candice Christiansen is the Founder and Clinical Director of Namasté Center For Healing. She is an IFS, EMDR therapist, trained CSAT, CMAT, and a Neurodifferent published poet, author and expert in helping people move in and through their lifetime and generational shadows related to intimacy ruptures and trauma to find healing, love, and joy.
photo credit: Sonny Mauricio on Unsplash.com