Did you ever think you would end up here? Like this? Right now? Are you wondering what exactly am I talking about? You know.

That place where everything you thought you knew now feels really foreign? Your world and everyone in it seems different? At times you feel so alone you can hardly stand breathing?

I know that I have talked about equanimity before in my weekly meditations; however, it seems to be rather fitting to discuss this week, especially during what seems to be a rather trying time for a lot of folks. Equanimity entails "Calmness of mind, composure, and an ability to maintain neutrality, particularly in challenging situations." I recently pulled out another one of my favorite books called Buddha's Brain by R. Hansen and R. Mendius (2009). I love their chapter on Equanimity as they remind us of our ability (often with practice) to find space inside ourselves where we tap into neutrality, void of too much attachment or too much aversion.

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die"~Carrie Fisher Have you ever felt like you were an object of a boundary violation, or wronged by another, or treated as though you were worthless? All of these are examples of valid reasons why you may carry a resentment towards another person. After all, anger calls attention to harm that has been done. However, what if you hold resentment towards another, say your partner or ex partner(s) for things that happened years ago? Does that help you in this present moment? Does it work for you to hang onto something that your partner, past or present, may not even recall or think about? Who is it serving?

We grow up in a world that teaches us at a very young age that our surroundings are unsafe and to be cautious with whom we open up. The consequence of this is that we miss out on fully sharing our hearts; ourselves. Based on our upbringing, the beliefs we form, and the stories we make up about ourselves and others, we then attempt to be in a relationship with another person.

Do you ever find yourself blaming, judging, pointing the finger, or displacing your thoughts, feelings and actions onto another person? In a clinical sense, we call this transference. In a general sense, this is called projection. The fascinating thing about projection is that our minds tie things together by association. We may non-consciously associate something someone says or does with a memory of something our mother, father, siblings, peers, or someone else said or did to us when we were a child or teenager.