Healing Trauma & Intimate Partner Betrayal

Testimonial:

“Namasté has been a safe and comforting place for me this last year. My life is completely different today than it was even six months ago, and that is all thanks to you and your support.” —Female partner of a sex addict

We recognize that trauma and attachment wounds are the basis of all issues and present in many forms. Trauma also impacts each person differently. Therefore, we take a holistic, multimodal approach to healing one's past or current traumas (i.e, intimate betrayal, chronic childhood neglect, shameful experiences, sexual assault, sexual, physical, and/or emotional abuse; workplace violence). Our mind, body, and spirit approach to healing one’s autonomic nervous system reinforces people's ability to experience life-long resiliency. 

We also know that individuals with trauma often live their trauma on a daily basis. However, more often than not, many enter therapy unaware of how much of an impact their trauma has had on their lives. Therefore, we provide a thorough clinical interview to ensure that we are able to accurately diagnose and effectively treat an individual's specific trauma(s).

We use a multimodal system for treating this type of trauma that includes individual, group and couples therapy with a CSAT as well as yoga therapy, foot zoning, nutrition counseling, and mindfulness education. Our trauma-informed approaches are explained in detail, below.

RESOURCES LIST

Vicki Tidwell Palmer

Moving Beyond Betrayal (book), VickiTidwellPalmer.com (website), Thriving after Betrayal (Blog) (vickitidwellpalmer.com/blog/, Beyond Bitchy (Podcast), 5 Step Boundary Solution-Quick Start Guide (on home page), 5 Step Boundary Solution-Clarifier (on home page)

Melody Beattie

Codependent No More (book and workbook), Beyond Codependency (Book), MelodyBeattie.com/blog/, (many more books on her website)

Rob Weiss

Prodependency (We highly recommend!)

Pia Mellody

Facing Codependence (book & workbook), The Intimacy Factor (book), Facing Love Addiction (book), PiaMellody.com (various DVD's, Audio Recordings)

Stefanie Carnes

Mending a Shattered Heart (book), Facing Heartbreak (workbook), Courageous Love (book), Guest on numerous podcasts & youtube videos

Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend (Christian based boundary work)

Boundaries (book), Boundaries in Marriage (book), Boundaries with Kids (book), Boundaries with Teens (book)

For more books we recommend, click on our resource page!

Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR)

Betrayal Trauma can be covert or overt and affects each betrayed partner similarly but also in their own unique way as well. Some may have more protective factors in place (e.g., support systems, structure) that make some of their betrayal trauma symptoms more manageable, while others do not. All of our betrayed partners come to us with a multitude of trauma and grief issues, including having spouses who have sexually offended along with having a sex addiction, and are desperately seeking relief from their pain and sorrow.

EMDR IS A SOLUTION! We offer EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to support our betrayed partners through their healing journey.

Repeated studies show that by using EMDR people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. Using the detailed protocols and procedures learned in EMDR Therapy sessions, our EMDR trained clinicians help our betrayed partners activate their natural healing processes, increase effective coping skills, learn how to regulate their multitude of valid emotions, and navigate decisions in their relationships and lives better.

Internal Family Systems Model (IFS)

“IFS helped me recognize that my betrayed partner part of me has a valid reason to be pissed off. I also learned through IFS that I have younger, more fragile parts that this pissed off part has been protecting for years. I am becoming more curious about my parts and not as judgmental as I heal from this incredibly painful betrayal.” Female betrayed partner

Along with using EMDR trauma therapy, we incorporate Internal Family Systems Model with our work with our betrayed partners. IFS was developed by Richard C. Schwartz and combines systems thinking which contends that the mind is made up of relatively discrete subpersonalities, each with its own viewpoint and qualities. Often described as "Parts Work", this model is essential in assisting individuals in understanding their different parts and how they impact their Core Self. It is especially effective in using it when addressing various aspects of trauma, especially betrayal trauma as it supports partners in feeling less “crazy” and more validated in their responses and coping.

Click Here for Beautiful Guided IFS Meditations with Jenna Riemersma for betrayal trauma and general parts-work.

Support for Partners of Individuals with Escalated Addictions

TESTIMONIAL:

“I have gotten so much out of this group; it’s been a godsend. The trauma I went through was real and painful, but I wouldn’t change it as it’s led me to do my own deep, deep work. Thank you for working so tirelessly that we, who’ve had this experience, can feel a part of and participate in a sweet caring nest while we heal.”—Female partner of individual with escalated sex addiction

There is a lot of support for individuals who engage in escalated addictions including those who are legally involved. However, support for partners is significantly lacking. Therefore, at Namasté Center For Healing we offer individual therapy for women struggling with the many challenges associated with their current situation.

RELATED ARTICLES:

Partners of Sex Offenders: The Reality of Disenfranchised Grief Nichols, E.2019. Partners of Sex Offenders: The Reality of Disenfranchised Grief. Theglobalpreventionproject.org. 

The women left behind by child sex offenders Taylor, B. 2019. The Women Left Behind by Child Sex Offenders. Perth Now. 

Disenfranchised Grief: When Grief and Grievers Are Unrecognized Roy, K. 2019. Disenfranchised Grief: When Grief and Grievers Are Unrecognized.The New Social Worker.®

Disenfranchised Grief: Mourning in the Shadows Severance. 2019. Disenfranchised Grief: Mourning in the Shadows. Severancemag.com.

Disenfranchised Grief Moeller, S. 2017. Disenfranchised Grief. The Grief Recovery Method. 

Mastering The Trauma Wound by Candice Christiansen

Testimonial:

“You’re workbook changed me. I use the heart hug every single day. I had been carrying so much shame for so long because of childhood abuse and had gotten frustrated with talk therapy. Using your workbook along with EMDR helped me heal. Finally.”—Older female survivor of childhood abuse

Founder Candice Christiansen’s workbook: Mastering the Trauma Wound: A Mindful Approach to Healing Trauma and Creating Healthier Relationships has helped countless individuals across the United States to navigate through their trauma using a mindful approach to trauma recovery. She uses it with her highly traumatized clients once they are in stabilized and grounded in treatment, and it is a staple she uses during her trauma intensives and workshops. Her workbook can currently be purchased on our on-line store!

Incorporating Polyvagal Theory into trauma therapy

Distinguished scientist, Dr. Stephen Porges is the author of Polyvagal Theory. Porges’ Polyvagal Theory developed out of his experiments with the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve serves the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the calming aspect of our nervous system mechanics. Before Polyvagal theory, the nervous system was viewed as a 2-part antagonistic system. Polyvagal theory identified a third type of nervous system response that Porges calls the social engagement system, a playful mixture of activation and calming that operates out of unique nerve influence.

When we begin to identify our body’s response to situations that cause us to feel fight, flight, or freeze as well as times when we feel immobilized/numb verses grounded, safe, calm, and regulated, we begin to heal our vagus nerve. Thus, we educate our clients on Polyvagal Theory as part of our treatment approach, then weave in mindfulness-based techniques along with our other trauma recovery therapies to create lasting emotional regulation.

Here is a video of Stephen Porges talking about Polyvagal Theory: Dr. Stephen Porges: What Is Polyvagal Theory. Video Credit: Psychalive, 2018. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec3AUMDjtKQ