I started writing my blog this morning thinking that I could write about vulnerability from a space where I wouldn't have to be vulnerable. After I realized how impossible that would be for me, I laughed out loud at myself. I know that when I retreat to a space inside of me where I am surrounded by walls, my mind goes blank. I disconnect from my truth. I quickly decided that it is best to stay connected with my vulnerability as I write this week's recovery blog.

I recently gave a tour of our program, Namasté Center for Healing, to some colleagues. One of the questions I was asked was, "Why do you do this work?" My initial thought was, "What a loaded question." In the past, I had given a more impersonal reason for why I do what I do. I would tell the story of a time when I was in undergraduate school at Westminster College when I wanted to be an attorney (true story). I was told by a much older male professor of mine that I was not cut out for law (how he knew that I don't know, as we had just met). At the time, I didn't have enough self confidence, self trust, or self esteem to continue to pursue a law degree....

Whenever I travel, specifically, when the plane is getting ready to take off, I put in my earphones and play Adele's "Skyfall" song. Some may think this is a morbid song to listen to at take off; after all, it begins with " This is the end....hold your breath and count to ten, feel the earth move and then... feel my heart burst again..." But, for me, it is just the opposite.This last time traveling, as we began taxiing down the runway,  I put in my earphones, turned on "Skyfall",  and a recent memory came to mind. It was so vivid, I cried...

It is not a surprise that I talk about addiction as much as I do. When you treat it day in and day out, one can't help but have it on their mind most of the time.

The interesting thing about addiction is that it really is a coping skill. I am not saying that as an excuse; it just is.

People have expectations every single day. They have the expectation that they will get up in the morning, follow their daily routine without thinking much about it, go to work in some fashion (even if work is staying home with the kids; which is a 24/7 job). People also have a lot of expectations of their loved ones. Most people don't realize that by having certain expectations, especially of their intimate partner, they create their own heartache.