I have parts. We all do. I have a part that is a scared little girl, about 5 years old, as well as a part that is a controlling nag. I have a part who is typing this blog (she is a perfectionist at times). Please do not assume that because I have parts, I have Dissociative Identify Disorder because I don't. I simply have parts like the rest of humanity. Sound crazy? Maybe at first; however, once you start to understand the parts of you that live inside and have feelings, reactions, responses, and thoughts, your world truly opens up. Things change; we start to heal.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! As recovery from the holidays (and New Year's Eve) begins, it is common for people to make New Year's Resolutions. Often people set goals related to recovery from unhealthy behaviors including substance addiction, porn/sex addiction, food/sugar addiction, workaholism, an addiction to chaos and stress, debting/spending, or all of the above. But, sadly a lot of people don't change. Instead, they stuff their deep-seated (and often maladaptive) thoughts and feelings related to their intimate relationship, work, finances, etc and focus on life outside of their own.
How many times over this past year, in 2015, did you consciously strive to change your health and feel like you failed? How often did you wonder what caused you to feel like a "failure"? How much time did you take to explore the reasons for what may have felt like "false starts"?
Many people set numerous new year intentions for changing their health patterns, then begin, only to realize they get stuck, then suddenly stop.
Intimate betrayal can take on many forms, the most common one being "cheating." As an esteemed colleague once said to me so poignantly, it is not so much about the "cheating on" that is painful, as it is the "cheating out of" that hurts. Partners of a spouse who cheats via an affair with another person, substance abuse, financial betrayal, workaholism, are cheated out of what and whom they thought they were committing to: an honest, loving, faithful person who they could trust. They are cheated out of a life they had hoped and dreamed of, cheated out of future plans, especially if their loved one refuses to get help or get better.
I recently read a case where a man plead guilty to burglary and a "sexually directed" crime. Apparently, the sexual part of the crime was that he stole pair of underpants. While he did not have any contact with the person that owned the underwear (he stole them from the house he burglarized), at one point he wore the underpants. Police arrested him after he admitted to wearing the underpants;however, he stated that he never masturbated with the underpants on. In the end, he was convicted of a sex offense and sent to prison. The question that was posed related to this crime: Is he really a sex offender?
