People often misunderstand love addiction as being addicted to the feeling of love. Love addiction, however, has nothing to do with love. People become addicted to the fantasy that someone can actually make them feel whole (fill a "void"). People who get addicted to love or addicted to being in a relationship, typically come from a household where they experienced a fundamental failure in attachment, specifically to their mother. Many love addicts also grew up with emotional, physical, sexual, psychological abuse and/or neglect. So they learned early on to create a fantasy world of how they would like their life to be; one in which they are rescued by their partner. For women who get addicted to men, they create a fantasy of the "knight in shining armor." For men who get addicted to women, they create a fantasy of a "super woman." In same sex relationships, their partner becomes a fantasy of "super-partner."
Nowadays, teens have access to multiple social media sites, and can be found texting, face-booking, twittering, tumbling, insta-gramming, you name it, at all hours of the day and night. For many parents, the question a lot of times is,"How do I keep track of what they are looking at and who they are connecting with?"
Recently I had to move my meditation altar from my meditatiton room to accommodate a family member who was coming to visit us. Although I was comfortable with this family member visiting, I found myself becoming increasingly anxious and irritable. It was as though a cloud had descended upon me. Within a week, I found myself meditating less, trying to control more in my surroundings, feeling sad, scattered, and depressed.
As a therapist working with men and women who come to see me due to hating sex, and avoiding it with their spouse, I am often asked, "Is something wrong with me?" This is indeed a delicate question. The challenge with it is that we are literally wired to be sexual to maintain the species, just as we need food to survive. While there may not be something "wrong" with the person seeking help, there may be a biological problem that could be impacting their sex drive (i.e., hormones, illness). During the initial intake, I request that the client get a medical check up from their primary care doctor to rule this out.
As a therapist working with men and women who come to see me due to hating sex, and avoiding it with their spouse, I am often asked, "Is something wrong with me?" This is indeed a delicate question. The challenge with it is that we are literally wired to be sexual to maintain the species, just as we need food to survive. While there may not be something "wrong" with the person seeking help, there may be a biological problem that could be impacting their sex drive (i.e., hormones, illness). During the initial intake, I request that the client get a medical check up from their primary care doctor to rule this out.
