Lately, I have been craving artichokes. It's not like artichokes are like chocolate where they melt in your mouth like Reese's Pieces. But, for some odd reason, I have been craving this salty-bitter tasting vegetable.So, this weekend, I cooked an artichoke and decided to savor the entire experience. Not much to my surprise, as I began to slowly peel each layer back, my blogger mind started to wander to the work I do with the clients that I help to heal.
Individuals who were bullied as a youth have a tendency to become exhibitionistic both non-sexually and sexually; for example, having to be the life of the party, center of attention, have all eyes on them; or they have had sexual encounters where they control being exploited, i.e., stripping, exposing their sexual body parts in public. People that tend to voyeur ("Peeping Toms or Peeping Tinas") grew up feeling like an outsider in their world. Note: these examples are not an exhaustive list.
Are you happy in your relationship? Why or why not? How long have you been with your partner? How did you meet? What attracted you to him or her? Why have you chosen to stay in the relationship? Do you have the same or similar belief and value system? What obstacles are you overcoming or have you overcome? Do you believe that you can overcome any obstacles? Do you miss your partner when they are not around? Are you interested in finding out about their day when you see them? What keeps you from "leaning into" your relationship, if you are avoidant in any way? What keeps you preoccupied with the relationship, if you are overly-focused on your partner?
Did you ever think you would end up here? Like this? Right now? Are you wondering what exactly am I talking about? You know.
That place where everything you thought you knew now feels really foreign? Your world and everyone in it seems different? At times you feel so alone you can hardly stand breathing?
I know that I have talked about equanimity before in my weekly meditations; however, it seems to be rather fitting to discuss this week, especially during what seems to be a rather trying time for a lot of folks. Equanimity entails "Calmness of mind, composure, and an ability to maintain neutrality, particularly in challenging situations." I recently pulled out another one of my favorite books called Buddha's Brain by R. Hansen and R. Mendius (2009). I love their chapter on Equanimity as they remind us of our ability (often with practice) to find space inside ourselves where we tap into neutrality, void of too much attachment or too much aversion.
