Whenever I travel, specifically, when the plane is getting ready to take off, I put in my earphones and play Adele's "Skyfall" song. Some may think this is a morbid song to listen to at take off; after all, it begins with " This is the end....hold your breath and count to ten, feel the earth move and then... feel my heart burst again..." But, for me, it is just the opposite.This last time traveling, as we began taxiing down the runway, I put in my earphones, turned on "Skyfall", and a recent memory came to mind. It was so vivid, I cried...
It is not a surprise that I talk about addiction as much as I do. When you treat it day in and day out, one can't help but have it on their mind most of the time.
The interesting thing about addiction is that it really is a coping skill. I am not saying that as an excuse; it just is.
People have expectations every single day. They have the expectation that they will get up in the morning, follow their daily routine without thinking much about it, go to work in some fashion (even if work is staying home with the kids; which is a 24/7 job). People also have a lot of expectations of their loved ones. Most people don't realize that by having certain expectations, especially of their intimate partner, they create their own heartache.
I love the picture of Kristen Wiig, former cast member of Saturday Night Live, displaying a face of disgust in her typical, humorous fashion. Yet, while Kristen often makes a subject that would otherwise seem embarrassing or "yucky" sound and look hilarious, in reality, we tend to experience otherwise.
In fact, when most people think of disgust, they typically recall a person, place, thing, or experience in their lives where they felt ashamed, disturbed, and/or grossed out.
My colleague and expert in partner and trauma therapy, Jill Seely, emailed me a quote this morning from Mary Anne Layden. Mary says: "... We are hardwired to love and be loved. That's what feeds our hungry heart..." She adds, "We have a generation who are starved and have hungry hearts...They are eating the sexual junk food... because they are so starved they would eat junk food if that's all that's available to them."
